Do not allow others to rush you, or to take over. Take time about doing anything with your loved one’s belongings. They will give you energy especially if you are having difficulty sleeping. Try taking several rest breaks during the day. Limit your caffeine and drink plenty of water. Try small frequent snacks instead of big meals. Watch out for complex carbohydrates like donuts, cake and cookies, instead try yogurt, cheese or peanut butter and crackers. Stretching exercises or short walks can do a lot to relieve the stress so you can recharge your batteries. Even if you feel tired and overwhelmed, try to exercise. Grief places tremendous stress on your body. Tell them it is okay to talk about your loved one, to say his name and to share memories with you. Ask your clergy, funeral director, or mental health professional for referrals. Share your thoughts and feelings by talking with others. Learn to work through the hurt rather than mask it. Drugs may stop or delay the necessary grieving process. Don’t try to lessen the pain of grief with medications, drugs or alcohol. At a time when you really need support, it is often difficult to ask for it.Īcknowledge your loss and begin to accept the pain of grief. You may decide it is easier to be alone or not let anyone get too close. You may feel embarrassed or ashamed of the way your loved one died and may not even be able to talk about the death to anyone. Grief can be isolating because no one knows what to say to you or how to act. Blame and doubt become constant companions. You may feel as though you are sliding into despair. You may be consumed with guilt that you were unable to help your loved one or didn’t even know something was wrong. You may feel cheated, betrayed or helpless. You may be angry with your loved one because you feel you were robbed of the opportunity to help, to listen, to get your questions answered, to do something or to say good-bye. Grief hurts!Īnger can turn to rage as you wrestle with the unfairness and unanswered questions that seem to multiply. Headaches, tightness in the throat or chest, muscle aches or a burning sensation in your stomach, sleep disturbances, appetite changes, irritability, or crying are all a part of grief. The “if onlys” and the “should haves” can cause pain and doubt as you realize no one can retrace the steps and change what has already happened.ĭepression or feelings of emptiness may temporarily overwhelm you. It doesn’t have to make sense to feel real. You may feel angry with God, other family members, yourself or the person who died. You may not be able to concentrate or remember things. You may feel “frozen inside” and exhausted. The shock, which initially protected you, gives way to frustration, fear, anger or pain. Feelings of numbness and unanswered questions can add to your pain and confusion. Grief is a process that is a physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological response. John Hewett, author of After Suicide writes that most people who kill themselves are not choosing to die, they just want to end their anguish and pain and, whether you believe it or not, you could not have stopped them once they committed to their plan. In spite of family life, support of friends or belief systems, those who choose to end their lives are just looking for a way out of their pain. They may have been embarrassed to tell you about feelings of inadequacy or the inability to handle certain situations. Health professionals will tell you that your loved one was looking for a way out of feelings of hopelessness and fears. You may feel out of control as you as you realize that you will never know the answer to that question. Your sense of reality may be destroyed and disbelief can overwhelm you as you search for answers to why and try to cope with the death of your loved one. The death of a loved one can be traumatic but when your loved one has taken their own life, the intensity of your grief can be severe. When Someone Close to You Has Committed Suicide
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